Developing the Self-compassionate Relationship
Welcome to the Commit to You Mom Group!
This week’s activity focuses on building awareness of our relationship with ourselves and bringing intentional compassion inward. Motherhood is an incredible experience—there’s something so empowering about creating life, bringing children into the world, and nurturing them as they grow. While I am deeply grateful for my two sons, I also find motherhood challenging. Overnight, we take on new responsibilities, from breastfeeding to creating nap schedules, all while sleep-deprived and navigating postpartum hormones and physical recovery.
Starting something as life-changing as motherhood is bound to come with imperfections and learning curves. Unfortunately, we can often be our own harshest critics. My first year postpartum was filled with anxiety and self-doubt; I often found myself questioning whether I was “good enough”—from struggling with breastfeeding to worrying about tummy time. This self-criticism drained me, and it took away from my ability to fully enjoy the beautiful moments of early motherhood. As I talked to other moms, I realized I wasn’t alone in feeling this way.
Motherhood is truly one of life’s greatest blessings. Yet, when we’re self-critical, we can rob ourselves of joy in these precious moments, expending energy on self-doubt rather than embracing the journey. While self-criticism is human, it’s not helpful—life with young children is hard enough without adding unnecessary pressure.
Most of us naturally offer kindness and support to loved ones facing challenges, but we often neglect to extend that same compassion to ourselves. We forget that there’s a person within us who is navigating significant life changes, sleep deprivation, and daily demands.
This week, I’d like to introduce the concept of self-compassion. Self-compassion means treating ourselves as we would a friend in a difficult moment. It involves pausing to acknowledge how we’re feeling during challenging experiences. It’s about accepting that motherhood is tough and knowing that, however you’re managing, you’re doing your best in each moment. Self-compassion encourages us to be moved by our own struggles and respond with care—finding ways to support ourselves by recognizing what we need.
Practicing self-compassion can positively impact your motherhood journey. Taking care of your mental health allows you to feel better, which in turn helps you care for your baby and be more present with your family.
Now that you know a bit more about self-compassion, here’s a simple exercise to help you develop this supportive voice within yourself.
Disclaimer: Please use the following exercise only if it feels helpful and comfortable to you.
Developing a Self-Compassionate Voice Activity:
Identify a Challenge: Think of a challenge you’re currently experiencing in motherhood.
Tune into Your Experience: Notice any emotions, thoughts, or physical sensations that arise.
Explore with Curiosity: What is this experience telling you about your needs in this moment? Perhaps you need encouragement, validation, love, a practical solution, or self-care.
Respond with Kindness: If you’re open to it, express kindness and support by giving yourself what you need in this moment.
Observe Your Reactions: Whether or not you choose to act with self-compassion, take note of any thoughts, emotions, or physical sensations that arise.
Remember, the goal is to be kind to yourself as you navigate this journey. You deserve compassion and support, just as much as anyone else.